When roaches attack!

Sometimes a little nonfa goes a long way to make someones day, let me make yours. I hate roaches, and if I do come across one, I will run. Run for the hills and never look back. Run like the Ex-laxed Finch. When I happen to come across a piece of it, like a wing or leg or something (my skin is crawling just typing this) that  vicinity will be deleted from my daily route, even if it’s the shortest way to wherever I’m going , that’s just how bad it is. (Quick question, are shrimps the insects of the sea?)

Now when ending the existence of such creatures, you cannot just squish them, there’s much more to it than that. You have to plan ahead and be at least six steps ahead of those nefarious creatures. All escape routes must be open and free of anything that will slow you down because when your slipper or other available weapon of destruction misses, that roach will come at you like Miley’s tongue, its going to go all out.

And you know the scariest part about all this? When you look away for a moment and it disappears. You can’t find it anywhere, that’s when you know that s**t just became real, because at that point, you’ll be playing multiple conclusions in your head, and if your brain is filled with cartoon violence and horror movie data like mine, then you keep looking behind you to see if a giant momma roach is behind you or you start rubbing your nose like a coke addict hoping nothing is going to crawl out. And let’s face it, if you meet it again later in the day, you will run screaming because you know it’s coming for revenge and to those who say;

“You are bigger than it, it’s more afraid of you than you are of it”

“You are bigger than e-coli”

Suck on that.

Disclaimer: Being a vegetarian, I do not endorse meat, but if you do eat it, please make sure its cooked well.

No roaches were harmed in the making of this post.